29-01-2016: the return of the son of archiving

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1

14-01-2016: talking out loud about not smoking while doing laundry - and alter-reality re-approach

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1

13-01-2016: further thoughts on the physical effects of not smoking

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1

i waited a few days, and nobody's said it so i'll say it: this track strikes me as a sardonic reflection on end-of-life literature.

discuss.

i'm caught up. regularly nightly uploads one week behind will resume tomorrow at midnight.

so, i've got my 96+ hours of non-smoking in and, while i'm still sore, i think i could maybe get back to work tomorrow.

this has to be final. smokers have a tendency to claim they're quitting. but this really has to be the end of it.

i started editing the dec 19th vlog on the afternoon of the 11th. i'm rendering the jan 12th vlog right now. so, that's a good three days straight of editing for three and a half weeks. meaning i could maybe edit a week in a day? a lot of them were short. but, it means i'm caught up until next week, now....

i don't want to ever waste three days editing vlogs again. but, i think it actually helped keep my mind distracted.

i'm getting bursts of awakeness. i don't know. i may need another day or two. if i do, i'll take it. i'm willing to take my time with this right now and wait until i'm ready.

12-01-2016: estrogen increase, 35th birthday & total apartment cleaning

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1

11-01-2016: like a dead man walking (the next day)

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1

reacting to the last bowie record

so, we're in need of some clear thinking, here. that's my role.

this neither belongs in the list of bowie's masterpieces nor in the list of bowie's catastrophes. rather, it's comparable to one of his stronger but lesser known works - like station to station, or black tie white noise. that means it's enjoyable, especially for fans, but not groundbreaking or timeless. it is not likely to generate long-term interest outside of his fan base, but one must also note that his fan base is of many disparate ages.

it's a little dated, at points. there's some recycling; lazarus sounded better the first time, as i would be your slave. there's some mistakes - he probably should have dropped the second track altogether. but, all in all, it gets a decent and at times strong B. which, like i say, allows it to float in that ether that is just below his classics, without ever falling into the deep chasm of his worst catastrophes.

i hope to finish my discography in the next 24-36 months and get to my historical reviews. i've been thinking that i want to begin the process with dead artists - that is, artists with closed discographies. i may have a surplus to choose from.

rip david bowie

bowie's death is kind of a complicated thing.

up until a few days ago, i think it was reasonable to conclude that bowie - the artist, rather than the person - died roughly fifteen years ago. then he releases a decent - if not outstanding - record a few days before he actually dies, as an individual. so, it's a process of him coming back to life as much as it is a process of him dying. simultaneously.

i'm just sort of confused, i guess. blind-sided. i didn't get the undertones in the blackstar video - i thought he was just capitalizing on witch house. they're clear, in hindsight. i kind of knew it was probably going to be his last worthwhile recording, or at least the beginning of a last worthwhile phase. but, i didn't see anything as imminent.

bowie was one of the older boomers. he didn't make it quite to 70. but, let us realize that there are many people that are crossing over that milestone in the next few months, or have in the last few.

i've talked about this before: people are going to start dropping like flies over the next few years. call it a parade, even. the boomer death parade! the final last hurrah! they're talkin' 'bout their generation...

seriously, though. there's going to be prominent people that had wide footprints dying on a weekly basis, starting some time relatively soon. historical music fans are going to get hit over the head with it like a sack of black death. it's just going to be this brutal succession of death - mostly from cancer. and, we're going to wake up from it after however long it is - 12, 18, 24 months - in a drastically different musical reality.

the past will soon assert itself as the past.

10-01-2016: finalizing the reconstruction of my first record & day one of not smoking

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inri-3

publishing inri (inri015)

my first record has been constructed without lyrics. yikes.

this is the new inri011.

up until this point, i always considered this record to exist within my "training wheels" phase. i was off the trike. and i was riding by myself in spurts. but i was falling down a whole lot.

it is now out of that pile and firmly in my "serious works" list. and that feels very good, after all these years.

i'm going to need to break for a few days to de-nic.

==

it took eighteen years and multiple attempts at a construction, but this record is finally permanently completed as an instrumental electronic work and i am finally proud to refer to it as my first record.

while most of these songs have defined concepts underlying them, i have ejected these concepts from the final recording and left them in a series of singles. i would prefer that this album be understood solely as the instrumental recording of electronic music that i am presenting it as.

written and demoed in multiple stages from 1994-1998. initially constructed in this form in june, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reconstructed and resequenced jan 6-10, 2016 from parts that were rebuilt over 2013-2016. re-released on jan 10, 2016. this is my first official record; as always, please use headphones.

credits:
j - guitars, effects, bass, synthesizers, drum programming, orchestral & other sequencing, sampling, vocal relics, cool edit synthesis, windows 95 sound recorder, found sounds, strategies, soundraider, hammerhead, sound design, metronome, digital wave editing, production

the rendered electronic orchestra includes piano, organ, electric guitar, orchestra hit, pizzicato strings, synth pads, violin, viola, cello, contrabass, electric bass, sitar, tubular bells, tinkle bells, synthesizer effects and flute.

released june 20, 1998

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inri-3

09-01-2016: actually quitting smoking

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inri-3

02. working through the environmental field (dvd 2)

08-01-2016: rebuilding segues for my first record

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/a-psycho-kills-a-cow
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/war-2
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inri-3

i AM still vlogging. i just wanted to catch up to the end of my period one discography before i sat down to edit. and, the scope of what i'm doing keeps expanding. which makes that process longer and longer. it's now going to take a few days to catch up. that's fine; i'm also in the slow process of getting around to quitting smoking, and that will be a good quitting smoking project (along witha few other things i've put aside).

i think i can finish what i'm doing by the end of the weekend at the latest sort of thing - it may even be done today, and will probably be done tomorrow. then, i'll sit down and work it out.

but, it will need to wait until i am done...however long that takes...

when i get there, i'll be uploading videos in relatively rapid succession. so, i guess you're looking at about two weeks coming up over two or three days.

07-01-2016: on sexual confusion in adolescence

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/i-did-your-mom-2
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/fuck-the-dead-3
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/on-sexual-confusion-in-adolescence
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inri-3

publishing on sexual confusion in adolescence (inri013)

i have added a modified vocal reconstruction to the front of this ep and the 2013 remaster to the end of it, as a download only. that closes the ep.

i'll be permanently resequencing the first record next, but i need to get groceries this afternoon while it's nice, first.

==

this was not initially constructed as a standalone work, but it became one almost the moment that it was constructed. there was always an intent to combine the sexuality themed tracks together at the front of my first record, but the initial idea was something more like frontloading the disc than building a cohesive work. it just happened to build itself up that way, and was truly apparent as such on the very first listen. even the phantom of the opera cover in the middle of the track became topical in a sort of subversive way.

i first broke the piece off into a standalone file in the spring of 2014 as a mirror image to the sequence that ends my second record, which actually *was* consciously written as a single work all the way back in 1996 (and appears that way at the end of the very first demo tape). i thought that if the second record was going to have an epic then the first should as well. as the first six tracks had long been a subset in my mind, this was a natural thing to do. the title of the track was first published as an upload to youtube in mar, 2014 on the deathtokoalas channel, which is now deleted.

i did not initially number these tracks as symphonies due to their incorporation of childish vocals, although i had planned to include them on any symphonic compilation discs, nonetheless. i saw them more as proto-symphonies - or just as beginner epics, where i was finding my feet but ultimately still working out ideas.

it wasn't until i finished reclaiming my 1998 demos from tape at the end of 2015 that i realized that i could resequence my first two records from scratch and republish them as instrumental works. the ability to reclaim these two epics as instrumental works, and consequently as full symphonies, followed as a corollary of this. it was consequently not until january, 2016 that i finally elevated the instrumental reconstruction of this recording to the level of my first official symphony, which is where it will now exist into perpetuity: eternally, finally.

the focus in reconstruction was to erect a final version rather than conform to the original mix, so later versions were prioritized over earlier ones. the first through fourth sections are very similar to the original album mix, whereas the fifth and sixth sections have been replaced with expanded mixes.

once the instrumental version had been constructed for the record, i felt i had lost something by removing the vocals - or at least some of them. in the context of the improved master, i felt an edited vocal take could actually elevate the symphony to a different and surreal level, if presented in the right context. this context could not be on the record, though, which had to be fully instrumental. instead, i decided to place the vocal reconstruction as a standalone single, with the instrumental as a flip side to it.

this is an incredibly dense piece of music that i'm proud to finally place in the serious part of my discography.

written and demoed from 1994-1998. initially constructed in this form in june, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. sequenced on jan 6-7, 2016 from parts that were rebuilt over 2013-2016. released jan 7, 2016. this is my first symphony; as always, please use headphones.

section one: initially written & recorded in 1997. re-recorded in 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. remastered from various sources on jan 6, 2016.

section two: initially written in 1994. first full recording in 1996. recreated in mar, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed on july 18, 2015. sequenced jan 6, 2016. vocals added on jan 7, 2016.

section three: initially written by andrew lloyd webber. recorded in 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. remastered from various sources on jan 6, 2016.

section four: originally created in jan, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed on july 5, 2015. expanded on jan 3, 2016 & sequenced on jan 6, 2016. vocals added on jan 7, 2016.

section five: written june, 1998. reimagined june, 2001. slightly rearranged and re-rendered at the end of july, 2014. rearranged again at the end of may, 2015. remastered from the 2014 & 2015 sources on jan 6, 2016.

section six: initially written in 1997. recreated in feb, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed july 5, 2015. remixed july 12, 2015. vocals and electronics added on july 16, 2015. sequenced on jan 6, 2016.

credits:
j - guitars, effects, bass, synthesizers, vocals, drum programming, orchestral & other sequencing, cool edit synthesis, sampling, found sounds (washing machine), metronome, digital wave editing, production

the rendered electronic orchestra includes piano, electric guitar, orchestra hit, pizzicato strings, synth pads, violin, viola, cello, contrabass, electric bass, tubular bells and flute.

released june 6, 1998

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/on-sexual-confusion-in-adolescence


1) written and demoed from 1994-1998. initially constructed in this form in 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. sequenced on jan 6-7, 2016 from parts that were rebuilt over 2013-2016.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/on-sexual-confusion-in-adolescence-2


2) this is also the opening sequence (the first six tracks) of my first official record. written and demoed from 1994-1998. initially constructed in this form in 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. sequenced on jan 6, 2016 from parts that were rebuilt over 2013-2016.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/on-sexual-confusion-in-adolescence-instrumental


3) deleted 2013 remaster of the opening sequence of the first record. written and demoed from 1994-1998. initially constructed in this form in 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/on-sexual-confusion-in-adolescence-2013-remaster-of-1998-cd-mix-2

4) deleted original 1998 opening sequence of the first record. written and demoed from 1994-1998. initially constructed in this form in 1998.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/on-sexual-confusion-in-adolescence-original-1998-cd-mix-2

publishing i did your mom (inri009)

this is the final version of something i'd been playing with since about '94 or so, and by this time the track had become something that was beyond absurd. in a way, this is the culmination of everything i did in this period. it's the central track of my inri years: it's both the first thing i spent any time seriously writing and the ultimate realization of the musical ideas i was exploring. it's the longest track on the first demo. the drum programming is deep, there's an orchestration through sequencing, synth parts in the background, lead guitar work coming to the forefront - it's everything thrown together at a coherent level, really for the first time.

that this is the central track of this period maybe demonstrates how ridiculous i was and how ridiculous my musical vision was. maybe it also demonstrates just how young i was.

the remaining tracks in this period sort of pivot after this.

i should be clear: this is pretty much the most terrible song that you could possibly imagine existing, and that was kind of the intent. the shock value is entirely up front. but at the same time, it's just so terrible that it's kind of funny, and that was entirely intended as well.

you could maybe say something about how somebody like alice cooper ripping live chicken heads off in the middle of a performance is just about the most tyrannical thing you could imagine somebody getting away with on stage. it's just *so* ridiculous, that you can't help but laugh - even as you're horrified.

it's a phase a lot of teenagers go through. i guess the difference between me and a hundred thousand other kids is that i was exploring it through composition.

-

now that i'm an adult, this isn't something i would write or promote. yet, i sort of am by uploading it. the interest here is to document the existence of a troubled child. well, and to document myself - i was that troubled child.

the history of the track is perhaps a little less obnoxious than may be suspected. i was actually being taunted by somebody in the eighth grade. that person had never met and never would meet my mother. it's just a remark that young boys make. freudian analyses aside, i don't think there's really that much conscious thought put into it.

my decision to write a song about it was half a joke and half a response to being teased. i listened to and feigned laughter at a lot of oppressive jokes when i was younger; to an extent, i regret not speaking up, but i can state with honesty that i never felt comfortable taking part (now, self-deprecating humour, often of a sexual nature, is another thing). this reaction, on that "fuck you" level, shouldn't provide for any specific discomfort.

however, the fact that i explored the topic in a deeper level of depth than my taunters did perhaps might, and perhaps should. i need to bring you back to my aims in recording this early demo: i was trying to be as disturbing and shocking as i possibly could be. my taunters provided me with a particularly disturbing subject matter to explore, and i took full advantage of that.

this track is certainly disturbing and certainly shocking. success? well, i guess. looking back, i've always been torn between regret and satisfaction. i still am...

initially written in 1994. first full recording in 1996. recreated in mar, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed & remixed on july 18, 2015. released jan 7, 2016. as always, please use headphones.

credits:
j - guitars, effects, bass, vocals, drum programming, drum kit, synths, sequencers, sampling, digital wave editing, production

released march 20, 1998

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/i-did-your-mom-2


1) deleted original 1996 mix. initially written in 1994. first full recording in 1996.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/i-did-your-mom-original-1996-mix-2

2) deleted 1998 original, unsequenced mix from 112 kbps mp3. initially written in 1994. first full recording in 1996. recreated in mar, 1998.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/i-did-your-mom-1998-archived-112-kbps-mp3-2

3) deleted 1998 cd mix. initially written in 1994. first full recording in 1996. recreated in mar, 1998.

4) 2013 remaster of 1996 demo cassette. initially written in 1994. first full recording in 1996. remastered in 2013.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/i-did-your-mom-2013-remaster-of-1996-demo-mix


5) deleted 2013 remaster of 1998 demo cd. initially written in 1994. first full recording in 1996. recreated in mar, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/i-did-your-mom-2013-remaster-of-1998-cd-mix


6) version reconstructed in 2015 from tape. initially written in 1994. first full recording in 1996. recreated in mar, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed & remixed on july 18, 2015.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/i-did-your-mom-2015-instrumental-reconstruction-from-1998-source-tapes


7) initially written in 1994. first full recording in 1996. recreated in mar, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed & remixed on july 18, 2015. vocals added and sequenced on jan 7, 2016.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/i-did-your-mom-4


8) initially written in 1994. first full recording in 1996. recreated in mar, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed & remixed on july 18, 2015.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/i-did-your-mom-electronics-only-mix-cut

06-01-2016: reconsidering my first record

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/nope-2
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/on-sexual-confusion-in-adolescence-2
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inri-3
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/i-did-your-mom-2

publishing nope (inri011)

so, i''ve uploaded the last single from the first record. this is the new inri009.

this is the second and last vocal track from the period that really had any actual meaning to me on a personal basis - rather than as a political commentary, or from the psychological perspective of a character or even just randomly thrown together nonsense. in fact, it's the only real reason i'm putting this single up. that's different than any of the others.

this is also going to be the only single that didn't have an earlier demo version. i actually wrote this one in 1998. as such, it's actually one of the last conventional "songs" that i ever wrote.

the logic here is sort of complex. i was initially content to leave the vocal version on the record. but, now that the record is purely instrumental, i want a vocal version available - therefore a single must exist. but, i'm also toying with the idea of splicing some vocal parts up and releasing them on a separate ep. i wouldn't have previously wanted to do that, because the vocal versions were on the record...

if this happens, it will be at the absolute end of the sequence, so i'm not thinking about it right now. the single will continue to exist, regardless.

==

it's often remarked that there's a fine line between genius and idiocy. it's less often remarked that there's an equally fine line between wisdom and depression.

in early 1998, i was generating quite a bit of concern about my mental well being. ironically, i think this actually coincided with a period of very rapid mental development and maturation. i kind of just went to sleep one night as an immature teen and woke up the next morning as an overmature young adult. i can't really assign any kind of catalyst to it, either. while i haven't looked into this at all, i suspect it's a less uncommon phenomenon than might be imagined.

i should maybe give my parents, which at this point in time means my father and step-mother but primarily my father, a little bit of credit for at least being aware that my character underwent a fast and drastic shift from being kind of hyperactive and full of snarky wit to being quiet and sort of withdrawn. the immediate interpretation of such a shift is inevitably going to be that it is at least consistent with the onset of some kind of depression. so, i ended up dealing with the spanish inquisition for a while, regarding my shift in demeanour. was i alright? if i wasn't, would i tell him? would i agree to talk to somebody?

i did agree to talk to somebody, mostly to ease his own concerns. i mean, i just didn't see the need for him to be worrying about me like this.

the reality of the situation was that i had simply matured a little bit. sure: there were some real life concerns happening around me. life at 17 is not childhood any longer; it can be stressful. maybe that had affected me a little bit. but, depression? i didn't feel that i was suffering from anything. i just felt that my personality was asserting itself as something that was kind of stoic. i don't want to call myself a sociopath, exactly: stoicism gets the point across better. what's the point of getting irritable? what does it solve?

the doctor keyed in on some of the music i was listening to. now, it's the late 90s: right after grunge. people are still reeling from, like, kurt cobain copycat suicides. i was in a bit of a different musical head space than that, one defined mostly by nine inch nails (and including influences on nin and offshoots from it). that's actually considerably worse, on first glance, although i was aware of the fact that reznor was writing from the perspective of a character rather than from personal experience. the point is that i understood where the concern was coming from and was able to effectively articulate that point to the doctor. we agreed that i didn't necessarily need to be put on anti-depressants right away, but that i should accept a prescription and fill it at some point if i get overwhelmed.

so, i came home with a prescription and immediately hit the internet to research it. i didn't like what i found. i had explicitly told the doctor that i was experiencing a lack of emotional instability, not an excess of it. so, i didn't need to turn my emotions off; if anything, i would have benefited more from something that amplified my emotions more. the idea that i was depressed was just a misperception. nonetheless, the mere *idea* of taking drugs that would suppress my emotions and may have long term or permanent effects scared the hell out of me. the xfiles sample that appears on the original mix was something that i had put aside for future pro-atheist use but, after doing this research, became very relevant in a completely different context.

so, i wasn't keen on taking these drugs that were going to at best turn me into a zombie and at worst turn me into a mass murderer. nope. no thanks...

my dad pushed the point for quite a while, though. in his mind, i came home with a prescription and ought to fill it. this song is a reaction to his insistence, which i always knew was coming from a good place. in fact, he never really dropped the argument.

the doctor and i also talked a little bit about my own music, and how it was an outlet for various frustrations. i made the argument that, while i didn't feel depressed, i was nonetheless better off working out issues of the sort through art than i was taking pills. so, this song also exists on that kind of meta level.

in hindsight, i don't want to give off the impression that i reject psychology or the medicalization of depression. that is simply untrue. the honest truth is that i simply did not feel that i was suffering from any kind of depression. yet, i've also always been very uncomfortable with the way that this process unfolded. we talked for less than an hour, and i walked out with a prescription for a mind-altering substance that could have dramatically damaged me. why is there not more oversight in this process? one would think that i should have been given a blood test to determine if i actually had an imbalance or not. no doctor can determine an imbalance through intuition. that is flat out quackery! an imbalance must be measured. if it can be determined empirically, it ought to be reacted to. yet, i was never even tested.

as an artist, i'm glad that i had the presence of mind to reject the drugs at this age. i simply don't know what they would have done to me, or who i would be today had i taken them.

originally created in april, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed july 4, 2015. remixed july 15, 2015. vocals added jan 6, 2016. released on jan 6, 2016. as always, please use headphones.

credits:
j - guitars, effects, synth bass, synths, drum programming, sequencing, vocals, sampling, digital wave editing, production

released april 29, 1998

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/nope-2


1) there was a vocal version created in the summer of 2015, but this version was reconstructed in jan, 2016 to mathematically align properly with the instrumental/album version. i don't have the original date of render, but it was probably july 15, 2015. originally created in april, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed july 4, 2015. remixed july 15, 2015. vocals added jan 6, 2016.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/nope-3


2) the album mix is the same as the version that was constructed from original 1998 source tape over the summer of 2015. originally created in april, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed july 4, 2015.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/nope-album-version


3) the electronics only mix really just removes the guitars (and vocals). originally created in april, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed july 4, 2015. remixed july 15, 2015.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/nope-electronics-only


4) deleted 2013 remaster. the dialogue is from the x-files. originally created in april, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. dec 21, 2013.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/nope-2013-remaster-of-1998-cd-mix


5) deleted 1998 original, unsequenced mix from a 112 kbps mp3. the dialogue is from the x-files. originally created in april, 1998. april 29, 1998
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/nope-1998-archived-112-kbps-mp3

05-01-2016: quitting smoking (false start)

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/schizoid-terrorist-2
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/i-did-your-mom-2
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/on-sexual-confusion-in-adolescence-2

publishing schizoid terrorist (inri014)

it looks like all of the singles are going to be a little different. this is the new inri007.

i'm also seriously considering rebuilding and replacing the two official records.

this is a double ep single; i've done this before. the idea is to separate newer mixes onto one ep, and older mixes onto the other. it's mostly a separation tactic.

the first ep is all 2015 mixes, whereas the second is a lineal movement from 1996 through to 1998.

i've also taken note of the fact that schizoid and terrorists were always tied together, and have merged them into a single track.

==

this single was created by running tracks 8, 9 and 10 on the cd together; it was never meant to be a unified track. 8 and 10 are proper tracks, whereas 9 is an experimental segue directly into 10. the process of compiling singles kind of accidentally led to this construction as a very natural combination and i'm now very content with it as the permanent home for both of these pieces.

these songs were both always musically driven, with kind of throwaway vocals that i don't really have any meaningful analysis for. neither of these tracks was ever conceptual or confessional or ever meant much to me on a personal level, so they don't have the kind of stories or explanations that the other tracks that were important to me do. i have not remixed the vocals into either of these songs; all of the tracks on the physical release are entirely instrumental. why bother releasing a single, then?

the reason is that i ended up with a number of mixes for both of them and just needed a place to house them. of course, that's not actually any kind of an interesting concept to build a single around. it was precisely because there was no retained concept underlying either of these tracks that the singles seemed pointless. but, once they were connected via the segue, the purpose of a single became readily apparent in that connection, itself.

the decision was sealed by a curious synchronicity in time. they were both originally written for the 1996 cassette demo, and separated there by a guitar/bass cover of "mellon collie and the infinite sadness". the entanglement is probably not entirely coincidental; i have a vague recollection of checking the tape to ensure i didn't forget any songs, and i may very well have repeated recording them in succession for that reason. however that happened to be, the synchronicity is a big part of what allowed me to create this ep the way that i've created it as it allowed me to label demo versions of the track with the same title.

while neither of these tracks have meaningful vocals, they are both important in my musical development. schizoid features my first multi-part string accompaniment and terrorists is a serious step forward in harmonic complexity. even the segue (titled "abusive") is something different: it's my first run at a 909 emulator, and a step out to lunch in abstract sound design.

so, as the last piece completed for my first record, this is somewhat of a portal to transit through, in terms of the developing complexity in my compositional abilities. but, it does not and never did have any worthwhile conceptual meaning to me. as such, there is no story to tell.

initially written in 1996. recreated mostly in feb, 1998 (schizoid, terrorists) but also partly in june, 1998 (abusive). sequenced in this form in june, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. "terrorists" was reclaimed june 28-29, 2015 & remixed july 15, 2015. the main mix was corrected on nov 19, 2015. "schizoid" was reclaimed on july 12, 2015 & reprogrammed on dec 31, 2015. the main mix was corrected on jan 3, 2016 and remixed repeatedly jan 3-5, 2016. the lead track was sequenced on jan 5, 2016. released on jan 5, 2016. as always, please use headphones.

credits:
j - guitars, effects, bass, vocals, synths, drum kit, drum programming, sequencing, soundraider, hammerhead, cool edit synthesis, tapes, noises, found sounds, sound design, sampling, digital wave editing, production.

the rendered electronic orchestra includes organ, sitar, bells, violin, viola, cello, contrabass and synthesizer effects.

released june 16, 1998

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/schizoid-terrorist-2


1) single mix. initially written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998 (terrorists, schizoid) and sequenced (with abusive) in jun, 1998. sequenced in this form in june, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed & remixed over the summer of 2015. corrected to control for malfunctioning electronics on nov 19, 2015 (terrorists) and jan 3, 2016 (schizoid). reprogammed on dec 31, 2015 (schizoid). sequenced jan 5, 2016.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/schizoid-terrorist


2) from inricycled. initially written and recorded in 1996. remastered & recycled in 2013. dec 11, 2013.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/alien-ship-caught-on-radar-causing-havoc-second-encounter


3) version reconstructed in 2015 from tape. initially written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998. reclaimed july 12, 2015. corrected to control for malfunctioning electronics on jan 3, 2016.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/schizoid-2015-reconstruction-from-1998-source-tapes


4) version reconstructed in 2015 from tape. initially written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998. reclaimed june 29, 2015. corrected to control for malfunctioning electronics on aug 11, 2015. corrected again on nov 19, 2015.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/terrorists-2015-reconstruction-from-1998-source-tapes


5) updated electronic orchestra added to version reconstructed in 2015 from tape. initially written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998. reclaimed july 12, 2015. reprogrammed and reconstructed on dec 31, 2015. corrected to control for malfunctioning electronics and remixed as alternate on jan 3, 2016.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/schizoid-total-2


6) bass blur removed from version reconstructed in 2015 from tape. initially written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998. reclaimed july 12, 2015. corrected to control for malfunctioning electronics and remixed as alternate on jan 3, 2016.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/schizoid-clean


7) bass blur removed from total mix. initially written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998. reclaimed july 12, 2015. reprogrammed and reconstructed on dec 31, 2015. corrected to control for malfunctioning electronics on jan 3, 2016. remixed as alternate on jan 5, 2016.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/schizoid-totally-clean


8) this is an edit of the electronics only mix that fades the track in and out. originally written in 1996. recorded in feb, 1998. reclaimed june 28, 2015. remixed july 15, 2015.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/terrorists-electronics-only-mix-cut


9) electronics only mix. initially written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998. reclaimed july 12, 2015. reprogrammed and reconstructed on dec 31, 2015.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/schizoid-electronics-only-mix


10) not from inricycled. rather, this is the unmodified (not remastered) ending section of the deleted original 1996 recording of terrorists. initially written and recorded in 1996. isolated in early 2016. jan 5, 2016.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/alien-ship-caught-on-radar-causing-havoc-initial-approach


11) from the deleted inricycled B compilation. initially written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998. remastered in late 2013. recycled jan 7, 2014.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/evil-jazz-decepticons-trash-a-bowie-srv-show-circa-1985-hidden


12) deleted original 1996 opening sequence of side B of the demo tape. initially written in 1996. the middle section is a combination hendrix/pumpkins cover.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/schizoid-terrorist-original-1996-demo-mix-2

13) deleted sequence of tracks 8-10 on the original 1998 cd. initially written in 1996. recreated mostly in feb, 1998 (schizoid, terrorists) but also partly in june, 1998 (abusive). sequenced in this form in june, 1998.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/schizoid-terrorist-original-1998-cd-mix-2

14) 2013 remaster of the original 1996 opening sequence of side B of the demo tape. initially written and recorded in 1996. the middle section is a combination hendrix/pumpkins cover. remastered in 2013.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/schizoid-terrorist-2013-remaster-of-1996-demo-mix-2

15) deleted 2013 remaster of the sequence of tracks 8-10 on the original 1998 cd. initially written in 1996. recreated mostly in feb, 1998 (schizoid, terrorists) but also partly in june, 1998 (abusive). sequenced in this form in june, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/schizoid-terrorist-2013-remaster-of-1998-cd-mix-2

16) full electronics only mix. originally written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998. reclaimed june 28, 2015.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/terrorists-full-electronics-only-mix-2

04-01-2016: new revisionist single adds walk through & almost quitting smoking

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/permission-3
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/a-deleted-exercise-in-hipster-homophobia
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inrimixed
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/skaters
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/confused-2
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/hey-god-2

publishing hey god (inri008)

i had to psych myself up a little to convince myself to release this. the date is feb 11, 1998 - it is the new inri006. but, i didn't release it until feb, 1999, because i realized, even at the time, that the vocals were embarrassing. there are a couple of tracks on inriched like that that i had to work myself up to get out and today sort of regret.

the thing about this track is that there's no reason to include the unmastered versions. sometimes, when you're remastering something it just comes down to personal taste. that was the case with skaters - and the mixes are consequently all pretty different. but, for this track, the initial mixes were just objectively bad, and can safely be just thrown away.

that means, i have five distinct versions - three new constructions, and two pretty different vocal versions. that's both enough variation to make the single worthwhile and not enough redundancy to really turn myself off the vocals. it just would have been painful to listen to the vocal track five times in a row.

the vocals are actually not at the front of the mix, and i was being a little self-conscious; how bad they are depends on how seriously you take them, and, even then, i didn't really intend for them to be taken particularly seriously.
the thing is that i want the three new versions available in one place. it only makes sense to include the vocal versions, too.

the next single is schizoid, and it will be a longer single.

==

my recollection of the initial recording of this track is unfortunately somewhat vague. when we push our memories like i'm trying to, we become more likely to imagine the past in terms that never actually existed. so, how real is this vague memory of wanting to hear some backwards guitars? i fear that it's perilous to try and force my mind to be more specific.

it's at least fully consistent with what i know about the situation. this was initially the second track recorded in my basement studio in the fall of 1996. so, i was still at the point where i was looking to try things in the studio for the first time. as for backwards guitars? i was very interested in both zappa and hendrix (two of my biggest guitar influences) at the time, and that is actually blatantly obvious if you listen to inri000. they both used backwards guitars. there are multiple occasions on inri000 (and afterwards...) where the nods to both of these players are beyond heavy-sleeved. so, my vague memory at the very least makes sense.

how i made the jump from trying to create a backwards guitar solo to turning a song into a palindrome is another question and i don't really have a good answer besides stumbling upon it as i was listening to it. clearly, it is the case that this struck me as a good idea at some point along the way.

when i went to recreate the track in early 1998, i felt the need to recreate the palindrome effect. so, i never saved any version of the track in forward order (without the backwards overdub) or released it in any kind of way. for all these years, there has simply never been a forwards version of the track.

the remastering process over 2015 has finally given me the opportunity to create a forwards version and spin it off as a single for the express reason of documenting the track as it was actually initially written, which was as a fairly straight forward alternative pop song. that's a description that i do believe is very old. yet, i may be imagining the past, too...

initially written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed june 29, 2015. remixed july 15, 2015. compiled on jan 4, 2016. as always, please use headphones.

regarding the subject matter of the deleted vocals/lyrics, please see the following vlog:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuhdwde1YKI&t=895s

credits:
j - guitars, effects, bass, drum programming, digital wave editing, loops, vocals, drum kit, tapes, production

released february 11, 1998

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/hey-god-2


1) this is the track run forwards, without the backwards overdub, which is the main purpose of the single. initially written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed june 29, 2015.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/hey-god-straight-forwards


2) this is just the electronics in the track - which means the backwards version pasted over top of the forwards version. initially programmed in 1997. digitally modified in feb, 1998. reclaimed june 29, 2015. remixed july 15, 2015.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/hey-god-electronics-only


3) initially written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed june 29, 2015.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/hey-god-album-mix


4) 2013 remaster of 1996 demo cassette. initially written in 1996. remastered in 2013.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/hey-god-2013-remaster-of-1996-demo-mix-2

5) deleted 2013 remaster of the 1998 demo. initially written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/hey-god-2013-remaster-of-1998-demo

publishing confused (inri007)

this one is dated to feb 6, 1998 and so comes in as the new inri005.

this is the one and only track from this period that i remixed the vocals into, and this is the only place to get that version, besides the period disc. the vocal version is also a reinterpretation, with added sequencing. so, this track actually got the full treatment. as such, it's sequenced reverse chronologically, in a traditional lead single format.

==

so, how exactly does one go about being transgendered, anyways? i mean, like anything else, i guess you have to come to terms with it, first. then, what?

it was the "what next?" part that took me a very long time to grapple with before i was able to come to some kind of course of action. i don't remember exactly how old i was when i realized that i was more like a girl than a boy, but i will state that my thought process was always that i was like a girl, rather than that i was a girl. i have to be blunt: i was a precocious child. i understood the biology of sexual organs at a pretty young age. i knew which organ i had, that it was the same as the one my dad had and that it was different than my mom. i never felt as though i was in the wrong body - that's not how i'd articulate it. i knew i was male. but, all my friends were girls. i preferred to do "girl things". so, i realized at a very, very young age that i was more similar to the girls in my life than to the boys, despite being well aware that i was genetically a boy. it functioned more on the level of social inclusion and conscious choice of gender role than it did on the level of anything biological. am i really that atypical? i don't know. but, i know that i never had any difficulty at all, whatsoever, in separating between sex, gender and gender roles. so, for example: i have very early memories of asking my mom to let me wear lipstick, and of asking to get my ears pierced (3,4 years old) but i don't attach those memories to feelings of gender dysphoria. i didn't see any reason why boys couldn't wear make-up. further, nobody really "corrected" me on it. so, i grew up without any shame or second thoughts attached to being a boy that was more like a girl, and consequently without any particularly strong urges to become a girl. my very early life actually finds it's best explanation in the theories of radical feminism: because the gender binary was never enforced on me, i never felt oppressed by it. i have to argue for a very healthy early upbringing.

what screwed me up and set me back a good ten years was the school system. when i got there at the age of four and a half, i wouldn't talk to the boys. i wanted to skip rope and play hopscotch with the girls. well, all my friends were girls. i didn't know how to play with the boys. what's a marble? i just didn't know. i got stuck with a fossil of a kindergarten teacher that actually flat out banned me from skipping rope. worse, she banned me from reading books. my absolutely docile and clinically rational temperament at that age probably worked against me. but, i had two choices: i could play with the trucks with the boys in the corner or i could go to sleep.

in fact, i slept a lot.

but, gradually, the system socialized me as a male. or, at least it seemed like it did.

my path through elementary school didn't really ease up on the gender segregation until the seventh grade, at which point it was essentially too late. the system had successfully prevented me from socializing with girls, but had never taught me how to socialize with boys. so, i had spent the last twelve years of school in social isolation, usually without any friends at all. i'd lost the opportunity to have all the gendered experiences one associates with childhood - which means i was deeply socially stunted. i was still pretty smart, academically speaking. however, i was operating at the social level of a much younger child because the school system had arrested my social development through segregating me into a gender role that i didn't understand how to fulfil.

by the time i got around to writing this song at the age of 16, i'd just become entirely stoic about the whole thing. i knew i was more like a girl, but what exactly was i going to do about it? i guess i had the perspective, at 16, that life was largely about managing misfortune and you just have to deal with shit, whether you like it or not.

rational? perhaps, from a certain perspective. it gnawed at me, though. the trauma underlying the track was the realization that i was a good part of the way through puberty, without ever having signed up for it. this was by no means unexpected, either, and i didn't ultimately feel that i had any recourse of action in preventing it. but, i felt like i'd been cheated out of something and was being forced into something i didn't remotely want.

as with the rest of the early tracks, the lyrics here are at their core the exploration of a morbid fantasy. i'm taking things too far, i'm taking any excuse i can to keep taking things too far and i'm enjoying watching you squirm when i do it. in one sense, it's a sarcastic allegory on the question of thinking with one's cock, which is a bio-chemical problem that all testosterone producers are forced to come to terms with at some point. in another sense, it's a transgendered teenager carrying out a sort of morbid fantasy and desperately looking for a way to prevent the masculinization of my body.

it took me another five years or so of internal struggle before i could get to the point where i saw hormone therapy as a realistic option, rather than a kind of utopian fantasy that would be perpetually out of reach until i finally expired.

this is the only period 1 piece that was further expanded through the addition of some bass and piano sequencing near the start of the piece. the vocals were also brought back in without redaction. so, this ep starts off with a full reconstruction of the piece, intended as a lead for this single. the ep further comprehensively documents all other released versions of the track.

initially written in 1997. recreated in feb, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed july 5, 2015. remixed july 12, 2015. electronics added on july 16, 2015. compiled on jan 4, 2016. as always, please use headphones.

credits:
j - guitars, effects, bass, vocals, synthesizers, drum programming, drum kit, sequencing, sampling, digital wave editing, production

released february 6, 1998

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/confused-2


1) this is a new construction of the track, with added sequencing and vocals. initially written in 1997. recreated in feb, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed july 5, 2015. remixed july 12, 2015. vocals and electronics added on july 16, 2015.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/confused-2


2) this is the instrumental reconstruction. initially written in 1997. recreated in feb, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed july 5, 2015. remixed july 12, 2015. electronics added on july 16, 2015.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/confused-instrumental


3) this removes the guitars (and bass...) from the instrumental version. initially written in 1997. recreated in feb, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed july 5, 2015. remixed july 12, 2015. deconstructed on on july 16, 2015.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/confused-electronics-only


4) version reconstructed in 2015 from tape. initially written in 1997. recreated in feb, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed july 5, 2015. remixed july 12, 2015.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/confused-2015-reconstruction-from-1998-source-tapes


5) deleted 2013 remaster of 1998 demo cd. initially written in 1997. recreated in feb, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/confused-2013-remaster-of-1998-cd-mix


6) 2013 remaster of 1997 demo cassette.  initially written in 1997. remastered in 2013.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/confused-2013-remaster-of-1997-demo-mix


7) 1998 cd mix. initially written in 1997. recreated in feb, 1998.

8) deleted 1998 original, unsequenced mix. initially written in 1997. recreated in feb, 1998.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/confused-1998-archive-2

9) deleted original 1997 mix. initially written in 1997.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/confused-original-1997-mix-2

publishing skaters (inri005)

i'm dating this to jan, 1998 and labeling it inri004, indicating a need to shift the rest of the discography forwards. there will be several singles placed over 1998, which fixes a bit of a representation problem - there were previously only two releases (the previous inri004 and inri005) for the entirety of 1998, despite quite a lot of material stemming from that year.

the idea of this single is to trace the development of the track, and i think this is sort of interesting in itself as the track begins as a fairly organic sounding demo in 1997 and ends as an electronic soundscape in 2015.

will there be more versions? stay tuned!

in all honesty, probably not - although if i ever end up transcribing it, all bets are off.

==

this is maybe a little hard to understand, if you weren't a teenager in a very specific period - about '91-'99, the 90s i guess, when the nu metal shift "corrected" things and tough guys went backing to being metalheads.

that period overlaps with a period when punk fashion moved from subculture to dominant culture. as with any other failed social revolution, the period is more defined by certain subculture traits being co-opted than it was by any meaningful change in social attitudes, even if it did correspond with a move towards liberalizing social attitudes in the older members of gen x.

i remember playing this for my aunt, who was a teenager in the 80s, and she was just confused by it. in her day, the skaters were the skinny punk kids that got picked on by the meathead jock metal heads. as mentioned, i think people that were teenagers in the 00s may more readily associate with this as well.

but the 90s were weird in this sense. skater culture in the 90s was defined by a sort of thuggish machismo gang mentality that overlapped more into gangster rap than punk rock. what you had where i grew up was a lot of upper middle class white kids skating because it was advertised to them as the "cool thing to do" and in the process co-opting this sort of survivalist 'hood mentality into a tool of oppression that they used to bully and intimidate the kids that, a decade before, would have identified as skateboarders. those kids may have maintained an interest in punk rock, but weren't generally accepted into the skater clique - which was essentially the "in group".

the culmination may seem a little surreal nowadays, if for no other reason than that it's been forgotten. but i remember sneaking through back alleys, evading skateboarding gangs made up of kids into slayer, while i had socal punk music blasting through my headphones. and i'm sure you'll get similar stories if you ask around - or maybe you were also that kid.

on one hand, this track was constructed to be sort of precious, and i think that it is. it's a pretty catchy pop song, really. on the other hand, i think i was trying to be a bit tougher than i actually was. i wasn't one to back down from confrontation - i'm still not. while i think it's true that i could have taken most of these brats one-on-one, i probably would have mostly chosen not to. see, the fear was always more that they'd convert the boards into weapons and then jump you. in canada, guns aren't much of a concern, but knives are.

...and the fear often came out of trivial reasons. talking with somebody's girlfriend. having a pair of headphones or a pair of shoes that might be worth something. basic thug shit.

in hindsight, the analysis here is a little simplistic. suggesting that these kids are going to grow up into pimps is problematic on numerous levels, although i can state with blunt honesty that a number of the people the song was about have grown up to be petty criminals with lengthy criminal records. i have to own that lack of depth and how it comes out in sometimes less than ideal statements, but i'm going to once again blame that on my age.

overall, i like this track on both a musical and thematic level. i just wish i had articulated myself a little bit better.

--

there was a specific story that influenced the track. when i was in the ninth grade, one of these skater bro types took it upon himself to start body-checking me into lockers. it was well understood that this person was older, but that just gave him more clout in the school's skater clique; he knew the older kids that they looked up to. i was never certain if he was on his second or third try at grade 9.

this wasn't the first time somebody had tried to get physical with me, but it was an escalation that i couldn't really tolerate. people flicking my ears was an annoyance, and especially so when it was a game, but it's the kind of thing one withstands. these were full on, run-at-me body checks that seemed to be designed with intent to harm.

i actually tried a few different tactics before i reacted. i tried sitting behind in class until he left, but it was visibly starting to make the female teacher uncomfortable that i was just sitting around waiting after class - and perhaps not unreasonably so. as for bringing it up with the teacher? well, this guy went out of his way to look for a teacher watching before he took a run. i couldn't be followed around by a teacher all day. i had to react on my own.

so, i tricked him into running at my open leg, which had him fall face first into the locker. he did not see the retribution in the act; he got up looking for a fight. as i was walking toward the exit, which was a staircase downwards, he took another run at me - which i dodged. that was an adrenaline filled movement, i tell you - he was full of stupid, hot rage and sidestepped like an angry bull. but, i still had to time it. there was no escape. he ended up falling down several flights of stairs and breaking his leg. consider what would have happened if i hadn't moved - even considering that i may have helped him lose his balance, a little.

from that point onwards, i lived in fear of being swarmed. rumours were floating around that i'd better stay away from certain people - which was a broadcast to me to stay low. i got the message, and spent the next several years sneaking around back passageways in and out of the school. i learned where the cuts in the fences were, how to detour across floor levels to follow the crowd, how to time the bus (we had public transit passes - and that fact alone probably spared me broken bones) to come in to class during the national anthem and other various scheduling and transiting tactics to avoid being alone at critical junctures. and, then i started to enjoy living that way, too.

i don't think that student came back the next year, so i'm not sure if he ever finished grade 9. but, part of the reason i'm telling you this story is that it helps paint a clearer demographic picture of the narrative that i'm presenting. if you remove the "skater" designation, this could be a story about gangs in schools that could be applied equally well across any other grouping. it just happened to be that the gangs at my school were populated by white skater kids, some from the welfare projects and others comfortably middle class. that might help to explain what some might see as a difficult reference point.

--

i've presented this track in chronological ordering because i wanted to tell the story of the track itself. looking through my releases, it may be difficult to tell what is an ep from what is a single, and what is an ep from what is a record. this is an ep, and not a single. it's an ep because it's a conceptual ordering of the tracks, rather than just an exploration of a single incarnation of a specific track.

i don't deny that the lyrics are painful. and, wasn't i supposed to be getting rid of painful vocals? well, perhaps. but, note that no vocal takes of this track make it on to any of the abum-format presentations of it, excepting inricycled. the vocals are tied into the concept of the ep, which is a narration of the song as it developed.

so, chronological ordering is the only rational way to present the tracks. further, a comprehensive exploration of the track's development actually becomes necessary, in order to narrate it's entire development.

i'm not going to take this approach to every single. i just think that this track had to be preserved in this kind of way.

--

initially written in 1997. recreated in jan, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed july 1, 2015. deconstructed dec 18, 2015. compiled on jan 4, 2016. as always, please use headphones.

credits:
j - guitars, effects, bass, drum programming, drum kit, sequencing, vocal noises, vocals, samples, digital wave editing, production

released january 12, 1998

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/skaters

1) deleted original 1997 mix. april 5, 1997.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/skaters-original-1997-mix

2) deleted 1998 original, unsequenced mix from a 112 kbps mp3. jan 12, 1998.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/skaters-1998-archived-112-kbps-mp3

3) 1998 cd mix. resequenced in june, 1998.

4) 2013 remaster of 1997 demo cassette. initially written in 1997. remastered in nov, 2013.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/skaters-2013-remaster-of-1997-demo-mix

5) deleted 2013 remaster of 1998 demo cd. initially recreated in jan, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in dec, 2013.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/skaters-2013-remaster-of-1998-cd-mix

6) version reconstructed in 2015 from tape. recreated in jan, 1998. reclaimed july 1, 2015.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/skaters-2015-reconstruction-from-1998-source-tapes

7) electronics only 2015 remix. recreated in jan, 1998. reclaimed july 1, 2015. deconstructed dec 18, 2015.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/skaters-2015-electronics-only-mix

02/03-01-2016: done!

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inriclaimed
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/schizoid-terrorist-2
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inrimixed
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/fuck-the-dead-instrumental-mix

publishing inriclaimed (inri024)

when i sat down to complete my discography in the fall of 2013, one of the first problems i came up against was what to do with my first two proper records, inri and inriched. in some sense, these records were complete: they were early works, but they were complete recordings and the records were sequenced with quite a bit of detail. it would not be right to modify them in a structural sense, as they were completed as they were when they were. however, the mixes had been degraded rather substantially through compression and the vocals had a lot of problems. further, i knew the source material was incomplete, but did not actually check the master tapes to see how incomplete they were.

i decided that the best thing to do was to try and remaster them using izotope. the result was noticeably "better", and they were released in that form. i also released a compilation of shorts that focused on instrumental sections as inricycled b. however, i had to make a lot of compromises to get to that point. further, the fact that i couldn't remove the vocals continued to bother me.

i finally got around to digitizing the tapes in december of 2014, as an archival step. i did not expect to be able to do anything with this material, but i wanted it digitized to prevent the tapes from deteriorating further. what i learned through this process was that the masters were far more complete than i thought. samples and continuity were missing, but i seem to have dumped most of the sequencing and a lot of the digital noise generation. this forced me to rethink what i was able to present. i decided that if i was going to go through these tracks and recreate them then i was going to do it comprehensively, which would mean completely recreating a number of the tracks. i decided that this would be a project better left for a later date.

by june of 2015, i had made it through the discography to the end of the second period and began finalizing the aleph sequence of dvd and bd flac/mp3 compilations. i decided that the only cohesive way to present period one is as a single disc, which meant i needed to address reconstructing the tracks immediately in order to close it.

the material was digitized via the exact same tascam four-track it was recorded on to, sent out track by track. however, the material was bounced heavily when it was recorded, which means the digitized tracks generally have multiple parts. the four tracks generally exist as follows:

1) an electronics track. drum machines, synths, sequencers, loops, noises.
2) a guitars track. there are usually several guitar parts in this one track.
3) a bass track, or a synth bass track.
4) a vocal track.

unfortunately, digitizing the tracks one by one left them out of sync at a rate of around a half a second per minute, but there is no clear pattern in how they are out of sync. shifting them back in sync was a time consuming process done in cubase by importing the remastered tracks and trying to find markers in the wave files, then using a sort of "newton's method" to compress or decompress the files until they lined up with the master. this issue was compounded by the fact that the initial masters were sometimes subtly out of time. once they were shifted back in sync, the tracks had to be equalized very carefully to try and isolate the constituent parts. for example, a track with a drum machine and a synth may have been split across a high and low shelf to isolate them in the mix. with the exception of this heavy equalization work (and amp simulation for the bass parts), these songs have not been modified from their original form - except to remove the vocals.

this release has rendered the previous inri009, inricycled b, as superfluous and consequently replaces it in the sequence. it has now been moved to inrijected.

i am very happy to finally be able to present this material in a form that i would find listenable, today, as an adult. this has been a very long process. i hope you feel that the results were worth the effort put into it, periodically, over many years.

initially written and recorded between 1996-1999 and remixed over the summer of 2015, with a lengthy pause due to malfunctioning electronics. final compilation date is jan 3, 2016. as always, please use headphones.

credits:
j - guitars, effects, bass, synth bass, drum programming, synthesizers, octavers, noise generators, sequencers, sampling, found sounds, cool edit synthesis, digital wave editing, loops, mic noises & vocal relics, production

released january 29, 1999

http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inriclaimed

01-01-2016: schizoid crisis

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/while-i-cant-always-convince-myself-that-my-paranoia-is-frivolous-i-can-effectively-control-how-it-affects-others
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/electronic-pieces-in-a-primitive-style

31-12-2015: brand new year, same old misanthropy

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/while-i-cant-always-convince-myself-that-my-paranoia-is-frivolous-i-can-effectively-control-how-it-affects-others