Friday, August 2, 2013

Re: cds

From: "Jessica Murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
To: sister’s email address

well, i told you i wanted them, and you kept telling me you had nothing to do with it.

you could have offered to sell them to me. and you know what's ironic, sister? i would've given you up to $5/disc. some of them, i would have paid more than that for.

j

hi again

From: "Jessica Murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
To: d’s email address

ok, i've got the story cleared up now. my sister fessed up when i told her they had her name at cd warehouse.

so, you went through it first. ok. i was actually able to get most of what i was looking for back at vertigo or cd warehouse. i suppose you already had most of it.

having my dad's copy of dark side, sgt peppers, the lamb, texas flood....i found them. it cost me $107, but i'm just ecstatic they're not lost.

the thing is this: i feel the conditions that led to you going through the collection first have to do with the stepmother's dislike of me, and not of my father's wishes. i mean....i think you would have got second pass. sure. but i'm his kid, y'know? i really think he would have given me the first one. and i think i trust you to agree with that and reverse the error that's happened.

that being said, as for what you probably grabbed, i'm probably only interested in a minimal amount of it. i guess you grabbed the porcupine tree and some of that recent swedish prog and marillion and other stuff of the type. i was never really able to get into that, and it doesn't have a place in my childhood. the only thing off the top of my head is the zappa, if you even took the zappa, damn i need to find that zappa, and even then it's really just a few that i have an emotional attachment to - the ones i'd really like to have are joe's garage and the apostrophe/overnite sensation double. well, that and i guess i was looking for that holdsworth disc. we saw holdsworth a few years ago in the same theatre we saw the lamb in last year...

i don't know what *your* attachment is to these discs. i know you're quite a bit younger than my dad was. i think i interpreted a mild father-like relationship, perhaps unstated but mutually understood, and i never felt jealous or anything. maybe there were certain father-son levels that i wasn't interested in or able to relate with him on. maybe there was a mutual void filled there, and i don't want to take that away from you.

for me, getting copies misses the point. i can download it for free on torrent sites. it's the actual discs. i don't know if you're feeling the same way or not, or if making copies would be sufficient for you.

in the end, i don't want to take away anything that you feel is important to you. that's not my goal, or aim. i just want to collect a few things that are important to me. and maybe if there's a few where there are mutually strong feelings, we can split the difference.

i'm just as reasonable as he was, if not more so.

...but if you could bring those discs to the moving day so i could take a look through them, i'd be eternally grateful. i promise i'll only want to take 10, maybe 20, maybe even less than ten.

j

Re: cds

From: sister’s email address
To: "Jessica Murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>

what was i supposed to tell you? she asked me to do something to help her deal with it, i did. it was nothing against you.

Re: cds

From: "Jessica Murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
To: sister’s email address

ok. i've sent an email to d. i'm going to have to ask to go through what he took.

between vertigo and cd warehouse, i picked up bowie, genesis, gabriel, yes, elp, crimson, bruford...a lot of prog stuff.

that's not the point. you lied to me repeatedly.

j

RE: cds

From: stepmother’s email address
To: "'Jessica Murray'" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>

your sister took the Cd's downtown at my request so she had nothing to do with all this other than carrying out my wishes. I have also kept some CD's that I wanted. If you chose to spend the money on CD's so be it.

Re: cds

From: sister’s email address
To: "Jessica Murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>

d went through the collection first shot. i assume he has most of the zappa/crimson/genesis/prog stuff, so what i DID sell was mostly lame leftovers that NOBODY wanted; generic sarah mclachlan, soundgarden, radiohead, stuff there are a million copies of.

turning point, vertigo, CD warehouse. that was it. she asked me to try to get some cash for what was left, so i did. i didn’t keep any of the cash, of which there wasn’t much. i didn’t do it to hurt your feelings or anyone else’s; what was left was stuff you certainly wouldn’t have had any “emotional attachment” to, believe me.

the stuff you want is most likely at d’s. if you want to contact or debate with him about it, that’s your prerogative.

Re: cds

From: "Jessica Murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
To: stepmother’s email address

ok.

i'm very upset right now. i've learned that the bulk of the cds were sold by my sister. her name was left behind in the transaction.

i've so far spent $107 on cds that my father would have liked for me to have. i understand that everything was left in your name, but i really think you have a moral responsibility to carry out his wishes. certainly, at the very least, i am completely positive that he would rather i had the cds than see them sold for $1/piece. i do not remotely think that my father would share whatever vendetta it is that the two of you seem to have against me. your behaviour is revoltingly selfish.

especially you, sister. didn't i just give you that jacket out of the kindness of my heart because you had an emotional attachment to it? then, you turn around and get rid of the thing i've expressed an emotional attachment to for a paltry sum. i don't understand this behaviour. it's very hateful and inconsiderate.

so, i'm just going to reiterate. this is probably the last time i'll contact either of you, except to pick up my things early next week.

1) i think i'm morally entitled to be repaid for the $107 dollars that i shouldn't have spent in the first place. i don't know who ended up with the money.

2) even if you don't want to do the moral thing and pay me back, can you at least tell me where else to go to find the rest of the cds? i've so far checked vertigo (where i got some back), cd warehouse (where i got some back), record centre (where they said nobody came in) and turning point (where they said the sister came in and only sold dvds). i'm a little skeptical about what the guy at turning point said. were there cds sold there? if there were, i'll buy them back. was there anywhere else i should go and look?

3) specifically, i'm very curious as to the whereabouts of the frank zappa cds. there are a few random things i was looking for and couldn't find, but i couldn't find *any* of those.

sister, i no longer trust you. there's no chance of reconciliation.

j

Re: my father's cds

From: "Jessica Murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
To: the surviving uncle’s email address

i took a run around town and got about 45 of them back for $107. the stores were all really sympathetic and sold them back at cost. i got the genesis back (including the lamb....except selling england for the pound), the gabriel, bowie, crimson, srv, yes, elp, and a bunch of random stuff by like tom petty and bruce cockburn. the one big thing i couldn't find was any zappa.

the whole scenario around it is really depressing me. i asked my sister about it several times and she just kept saying she didn't want to get involved, she didn't know anything about it, i had to talk to the stepmother, etc. like, right when i left today, it was one of the last things she said. but, when i called cd warehouse, it was all in her name. she was the one running them out...

like, i just don't know how to mentally compute this. cd warehouse sold them back to me at cost, which was $1/cd. at vertigo, it was $3/cd. was that really worth it to her? was lying to me worth it to her?

on top of that, i had *just* made a huge sacrifice for her. remember that jacket he gave me a few weeks ago? your mother was all excited about it fitting me, and i ended up going home with it. well, it turns out that the jacket was the one he walked her down the aisle with. truth is i liked the jacket and would have wanted to keep it. it's a nice jacket, and it's just going to sit in her closet. but i decided that it was more important that she had something of his that meant something to her, so i gave it back to her.

...and then a few hours later she goes and sells the one thing i had expressed an emotional attachment to?

like i say, i don't really want to get everybody involved in this, i'm just really hurt and confused and don't know what the fuck to think other than that i can't trust a word coming from them and have no path to follow in discussing it with them directly.

j

RE: cds

From: the stepmother’s email address
To: "'Jessica Murray'" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>

Your father left everything to me and what I do with his belongings is up to me....If I want to sell things, give them away or flush them down the toilet that is none of your business!

If you want to buy CD's for $75 that is your business.
Jessica Amber Murray
it was my sister that sold the cds. after i told her i wanted them. and then she denied it. i will probably not speak to her again.

mom
How many cd's are we talking about here?...Although knowing your father...There must have been many. And many tapes and vinyl too?

Are you you sure it was her and not the stepmother

Jessica Amber Murray
i thought it was the stepmother at first. she may have sold the first batch on tuesday. but the second batch on wednesday was my sister. she signed her name over at cd warehouse, and the dude at turning point knows all three of us... the reason why this is particularly maddening is: 1) i told her i wanted to look through them. it's not about the monetary value of the cds. she only got like $3 each at vertigo and $1 each at cd warehouse. it's about the time i spent listening to them, the emotional attachment...it's the ONLY physical objects i wanted....and the fucking $1/disc was worth more to her than that... 2) i asked her several times about it and she bold-faced lied to me. flat. bold. lie. nobody can trust a word she says...

i spent all day tracking them down. in the end, i got about 45 back for $107. i kind of expect she'll refund me for that and tell me where the rest of them are. the big thing i couldn't find was the zappa discs...

Re: my father's cds

From: the surviving uncle’s email address
To: "Jessica Murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>

I'm going to keep this very brief for the moment. I don't know if I can help, but I'm going to try. Please don't act on this for today, leave it until tomorrow as I need to talk to a few people. I know that may be hard but don't think it's going to help for anyone to get their backs against the wall any further. Trust on me on this.

my father's cds

From: "Jessica Murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
To: the surviving uncle’s email address, d’s email address

i'm sorry i have to do this. you can be certain that i don't want to do this. but my hands are being forced...

my father wanted me to have his cds. he told me as much repeatedly over the course of several years. there's no doubt in my mind about this.

i want my father's cds. i have a lot of memories attached to them. i don't care what they're worth in dollar amounts. like, his old beat up copy of the lamb lies down on broadway is probably worth about $2. it's priceless to me....

out of all the things that he had, it's really all i wanted. i'm being cut out of the money, and i don't really care as long as i get the cds that are important to me.

i'm having a really hard time determining what happened to them. as far as i can figure out, both my sister and my stepmother are lying to me about it. i have no understanding of why they would do that, other than to spite and hurt me. they have a history of behaving in ways that are designed to spite and hurt me (and a long history of telling blatant lies).

i asked them on monday not to sell them. apparently, some of them were sold on tuesday and some of them were sold on wednesday.

the stepmother has told me she sold some of them, but she won't tell me who she sold them to. i've called around a bit. i was able to buy about 20 back from vertigo. record centre says nothing came in. turning point says the sister came in on wednesday with a handful of things and mentioned the plan was to give the good stuff away to “his friends”.

...after i've told them i wanted them...

...and, again, there's no doubt he wanted me to have them.

i don't want to drag you guys into this, but i don't think i'm going to get anywhere talking to them directly. it seems to be that there's a goal to ensure i don't get anything of his. as one example, i've asked about the sports awards and things he won when he was younger. i know for a fact he kept them in a box in his closet. that box contained his precious personal possessions. there was a defensive player of the year award, some hockey cards, some pins, some of his father's things, etc....according to the stepmother, such a thing never existed. yet, i know it did. she may have just thrown it out without thinking, but to lie about it indicates the presence of a deeper prerogative to ensure i don't get anything.

i think the easiest way to do this while causing the minimum amount of conflict is for you guys to just accept any discs that are offered and then let me take a look through them. i would be hopelessly grateful for the opportunity to do that.

part of me wants to just take everything and listen to it all very slowly, but the reality is that there's a lot of stuff i'm more or less indifferent to. but the stuff i am interested in - the genesis, the zappa, the srv - is just completely priceless to me.

it's not the music itself, i can download that for free, it's the fact that they were his discs, and the memories attached to listening to them, to exploring them, etc.

i know they both understand how important the opportunity to sort through this is to me and i just don't understand why they're being deceitful and obfuscating about it.

j

Re: cds

From: "Jessica Murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
To: stepmother’s email address, sister’s email address

ok, so i got a bunch of them back from vertigo. some bowie, some crimson, some gabriel....these were some of the ones that were important to me.

they were very human about it and sold them back to me at cost. it was still $75 for around 25 cds. i'm going to ask you to contemplate whether that's a cost that you think i should pay out for something i'm absolutely 100% certain, with no space for doubt, that my father wanted me to have.

the ones that are most important to me are the genesis and the zappa. what happened to those ones? there was also a few other crimson discs i couldn't locate.

i also went to turning point and the record centre. the record centre had no recollection of anybody coming in, but turning point told me my sister came in yesterday with a handful of “common titles” - he mentioned that she indicated that a lot of the cds would go to “his friends”.

sister, were those his cds or yours? did you sell anything there yesterday? what?

i'm going to email d and the surviving uncle. i expect that they'll give me the discs, as that's what my father would have wanted. we can skip a step, here.

i'm not angry, so much as i'm shocked. i don't care what the discs are worth on a monetary basis. the memories attached to them are priceless. a few of his discs would be the only thing of his that i wanted...

j

cds

From: "Jessica Murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
To: stepmother’s email address

i'm sorry if this comes off as trite, but it really isn't from my perspective, this is actually incredibly important to me.

can you tell me who you sold them to? i'm going to try and call around.

j